No Giving Up

“If you make a little progress each day and stick to it, any method works. And if you always quit, nothing works.”

Charles Chu

I remember when I was a kid, I would pickup anything that interested me. I would see another kid on my street playing with his skateboard, so I would do anything to find one. Once I did, I would practice and practice endlessly or at least till the street lights came on. I would find a yo-yo, play with it until my fingers were red from the string cutting off my blood circulation.

But always the interest would fade and I would find some other shiny thing in my hands. I went through a lot of these phases. Looking back now, I would give up and pick something else just when the novelty faded and the real resistance to get better started.

I always gave up.

I never realized it then, but I did. I’m older now, twenty five, and that wonderment has faded a bit. But more importantly my determination has more or less stayed the same since I was a kid.

I recognize this pattern. I can find it at different points in my life. I can find it In high-school. I can find it in college. I can see it cover my experiences with jobs, relationships, friends, and family.

“If you always give up, nothing ever works.”

I found this phrasing tucked away in an article recently. It struck a cord with me. It made me think about why so many of the things I wanted never really worked out. At those times I thought it was just the world against me, but thats what we say when we want comfort more than reality.

Where it was because of boredom or frustration, I give up. But I don’t want to anymore. I feel trapped in a cycle that I’ve created for myself since I was a kid.

You cant find your place, if you never try a place.

No giving up anymore.

It’s all hard. I find myself hoping to stumble on to a place that just clicks into my life. That why I travel. Why I take these risks to leave the quiet, yet mundane comfort of everyday life.

Its like I’m in a restaurant kitchen. I have so many meal order tickets that want my attention.

But every-time I start preparing the ingredients for one dish, I’m distracted by the sound of another ticket printing. So I start making the meal on another ticket. I’ve begun a lot, but really made nothing. All just ingredients sitting chopped on the cutting board. Pots with boiling water. Sauces never poured on top of anything. A kitchen that cooks but doesn’t produce anything.

If you want something to work, work on something.